Merlin's Balls!
by Dahlia Reynolds
Summary: Ginny is wandering the halls, her thoughts centered on her brother's best friend, whom she does NOT like, and who should she run in to but the person filling her thoughts, one Harry Potter. And by 'run in to', we mean quite literally. HarryGinny
1. Prologue

**Harry's POV**

Harry stormed down the hallway. Passing portraits would later claim that under his breath, the young savior mumbled "Stupid, over-bright sparkle of Dumbledore's bloody eyes. He must wear contacts; no ones eyes can be that bloody BRIGHT! And what is with his damned sherbet lemons? I think part of his problem is that he's sugar high! I wonder how many how many cases of those he eats away. And NO, I don't want another cup of tea! Does he think of anything else! For someone who is supposed to be so bloody brilliant, he really…"

Unfortunately, he was cut off from this long rant by suddenly landing on his arse. He rubbed his chin, which was quite sore from being hit with some unknown object that was extremely HARD!

He opened his eyes to see several birds flitting around his head, but upon closer inspection glanced past them and finally saw the cause of his pain. A young girl with fiery red hair, apologizing profusely.

_

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**Ginny's POV**_

_Harry leaned over and carefully brushed away the hair clinging to her cheek. "Gin," he said huskily._

She interrupted her little fantasy-extremely wonderful fantasy, admittedly-with the thought, _Oh, great Merlin! Why in the hell am I thinking of Harry, as in Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, savior of the sodding wizarding world. He's my brother's best friend! While he is extremely fine, he should still be more like an older brother to me! This is the guy that saw me put my elbow in the butter dish, has seen me in my horrible night gown with my hair frizzing everywhere, the guy who has seen me turn like ten billion shades of red, more than should even be possible, the guy who-_

The next thing she knew, she was no longer walking through the hallways and was instead sitting on top of something rather firm, but yet still comfortable. Opening her eyes, she saw a trim, denim clad waist. She glanced up further. A six pack barely covered by a worn-out t-shirt. She continued to follow her gaze up past broad shoulders, a slightly tanned neck, and a sharp jaw. Her stomach clenched in a sharp feeling of dread. Oh, damn, she thought. I know who this is!

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT! _

She looked up, and there were bright emerald eyes.

_Oh, Merlin's bunny slippers! How did I land myself in this position? Of all of the hundreds of students at this bloody school, why did I have to land in the lap of freakin' Harry Potter, who doesn't even GO here any more! I just can't escape him! _

Still trying to recover from her shock, she was brought out of her slightly chaotic thoughts by a gruff voice, not unlike that of previous day dream, suggesting, "Gin, maybe you could get off my lap now?"

_Oh, Merlin's balls! I have been sitting in his lap for like three minutes, not even moving! And I'm sure I'm some lovely shade of scarlet not yet known to man. Could this be _any_ more embarrassing!_

She clambered off of his lap (­_Oh, god, how humiliating!_) while saying repeatedly, "I'm _sooo _sorry Harry!" Unluckily, Ginny was in such a haste to get _away _from him that she accidentally kneed him in an organ that he would later need for reproduction. She didn't believe though that after this encounter he would have much of a chance left with that.

She stilled instantly upon hearing his grunt of pain, and the apologies began all over again. "I'm so extremely sorry Harry! Do you need ice? Do you hate me? I really didn't mean to….do that to you, I swear! I wasn't trying to dismember you or anything!"

"Gin, at the moment, you getting off my lap would be apology enough." She blushed once more, but before she could move, he spoke."Just please be more careful to _not_ knee me in the crotch this time,"Harry suggested with a grimace.

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**This concludes the beginning of our story! Yeah. So, we should be updating about once a week, so watch for us! Lots of love,**

**Dahlia Reynolds**

**(Dreamerdoll and Magical Maniac Girl)**

**PS: We'll love you for reading, but we'll love you more if you review!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Merlin's Balls! **

**Chapter 1**

**By Dahlia Reynolds**

**Disclaimer: All characters and places belong to J.K. Rowling, unfortunately. However, you can tell its our plot, as not even she would come up with something so genius! Lol. **

**

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Ginny's POV**

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_Oh, shit, this is so humiliating. I not only land in the lap of my crush, but I hit said crush's balls in the process, probably making it so- HOLD ON, BACK UP. MY WHAT? He is NOT my crush, I do not like him, I tell you! He is my brother's best friend, nothing more! _**

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Harry's POV**

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Harry watched amusedly as different emotions flickered over the girl's face. _She's not a girl anymore,_ mentioned part of his mind, but he chose to ignore that part, which constantly mentioned how beautiful little Ginny Weasley really was. Now would not be the time for it, considering said girl was sitting in his lap. 

Scrambling to get off his lap, face as red as her hair, she squeaked for about the twentieth time, " I'm SO sorry, Harry! This won't happen again, I swear! I'm not usually-er ALWAYS like this! Can I get you ice for that, seriously? This must be rather painful!"

" Er… I'm not going to tell you it isn't painful, but I'm fine. I don't need ice. Why don't you get back to class? You're going to be late," the man in question replied, attempting to hide the pain on his face with a grin. _Damn, I probably looked constipated. _

Standing, he helped Ginny pick up her books before walking rather awkwardly to my new room in the castle.

**

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Ginny's POV

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**

_He helped me pick up my books! He's so sweet!_ _And great Merlin, he looked delicious in those- _Reaching up a hand, she slapped herself, and yelped slightly. That was harder than she had intended, damn it all. Oh, this day was going horribly so far.

_First, I'm running late for class, so have to practically _gallop_ to get there on time. _

_Then, as I run, I catch myself dreaming of my bloody brother's best bloody friend! (What, in Merlin's name, is worse than that!) _

_Oh, I know something worse! How about having my day dream interrupted (that's not horrible, I know) by the man HIMSELF! How unfair is that! _

_I-_quite literally, in fact- _land on him (and I am NEVER repeating this out loud, for some stupid person, probably my DEAR brother Ronnikins, would claim I was falling head over feet for the bloke….Ugh. So NOT!). _

_If that wasn't horrible enough, I have to land directly in his lap, sit and oggle him for several long moments, before turning beet red and, to make matters worse, CRUSH THE MAN'S BALLS! Well, of course it would be the man's, as….well, yeah. WE don't need to go into that! _

_Now, to top it all off, McGonigall will have my head for being late _again_! And, of course, being the red-headed freak that I am, I'LL BE BLUSHING THE WHOLE BLOODY TIME! _

_DAMN YOU HARRY POTTER! _DAMN YOU_ (And, of course, teenage hormones.)_

**

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Harry's POV**

* * *

Harry waddled down the hallway in a bad mood. Stopping just before his room, he murmured the password (along with a rather rude comment) to the grinning portrait, to which Sir Cadegon replied somewhat snippily, "Well, I never! _Someone_ seems to have a lance up his-" 

He was cut off by the portrait being closed with a sharp _bang! _

Still glaring, Harry stomped (not quite as well as he usually could when his balls weren't crushed, but still.) over to the fireplace and tossed in the floo powder. He stuck his head in the now green fire, and waited impatiently to reach Ron and Hermione's house.

"Ron?" Harry called into the seemingly vacant house. Hearing footsteps, he saw a tremendously irritated redhead with unusually ruffled red hair and disheveled clothing. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" When he saw Harry, he quickly attempted to straighten his bedraggled appearance.

Harry raised a brow. "Did I interrupt something?" he questioned, voice full of good humor.

"No! What do you want?" Ron replied indignantly, flushing slightly.

Harry sighed. " Dumbledore wants me to teach at the school as the assistant Quidditch coach. I TOLD him I wanted to be an Auror, but he, as usual, insists on meddling in other people's lives despite their OWN wishes. Supposedly I should get away from the press for a while, so I have to delay my Auror training for now."

"Wow, sorry mate. That's too bad. Well, Dumbledore's always had his reasons, hasn't he?" Ron suggested.

Harry glared sharply at his best friend, quite irritated that he could talk so sensibly at a time like this, on a topic such as this. When he needed, for once, Ron's temper, his readiness to jump into battle and defend his best friend, he suddenly becomes _levelheaded! _What type of justice _was_ this!

Unfortunately, his sharp reply was cut off by the entrance of the third member of the Golden Trio, who was tightly wrapped in a dusty rose colored robe. Her hair too was rather tangled and wild, but he chose not to comment, hoping to save them all from a potentially uncomfortable and embarrassing situation. And it certainly _would_ be uncomfortable, if his two best friends, more like family to him really, began to discuss their sex life. UGH!

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Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! 

**BlUeEyEdGoDdEsS2912**-Thanks! We plan to!

**Lady Therin- **Thanks! Lol. You're the first person to ask that...We kinda forgot to put it in. ;) It takes place in Ginny's seventh year, a year after Harry has graduated from Hogwarts.

**SoulJewel-** Lol. Thanks! Hopefully the rest is equally interesting...we'll try our best to keep it so!

Thank you everyone who read, we love you all...but we'd love you MUCH more if you reviewed...Hint, hint! Cookies to those that do, I suppose.

**Dahlia Reynolds**

**(dreamerdoll and Magical Maniac Girl)**


	3. Chapter 2

**Merlin's Balls!**

**Chapter 2:

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**

**Harry's POV:**

He bid the happy couple goodbye and still wincing, hobbled away from the fireplace muttering foul words under his breath. _Why are they taking his side! They are supposed to be MY friends, so it's only logical that they agree with ME! NOT Dumbledore. _He sighed, and murmured to himself, "There can't be anything else that can go wrong today."

Hearing a sharp rap on his door, Harry couldn't help but regret his words, for he felt that this daywas in fact going to get worse; he had a bad feeling about that person now knocking so exuberantly at his door.

With a groan, he walked-or-_staggered, _rather, across the room before swinging the door open. To his rather unpleasant surprise, he saw Colin Creevy standing impatiently before it, a wide grin stretched across his face and the ever-pleasant camera in his hands. "Hi, Harry! What's going on? I just heard the great news! I can't believe you're going to be the Quidditch coach! That's wonderful!"

"Hello, Colin." Harry greeted with another sigh. It was already a long day, and he wasn't sure he could handle a conversation with Colin Creevy to top it off. "Come sit down."

"Golly, thanks, Harry! I'm still absolutely thrilled that you'll be coaching us! We need it something awful! Hey mate, why are you walking like you have a broomstick up your arse? Or did Ginny get you too? Blimey, that girl has been dreamy all week." He shook his head helplessly. "Walking into doors, teachers, walls…Merlin, once she even walked into Dumbledore himself! She's lost it!"

Harry, not liking what was being said about the youngest Weasley, glared at Colin. " I'm sure she has her reasons. I personally wished she'd run into Dumbledore a bit harder. It might have knocked a little sense into the barmy old codger!" He paused for a moment before saying rather curtly, "Colin, I'm feeling a bit tired. I think I need some sleep. I'll see you at practice tomorrow, right?"

Colin, staring at Harry with a rather confused expression on his face, replied slowly, "Right, Harry," and left the room.

Harry ignored the guilty squirm he felt in his stomach. _He insulted Ginny. I wouldn't have been so abrupt if he hadn't. But why do I care so much? No… I don't fancy Ginny! Besides, if I did Ron would curse me into oblivion. Or just kill me. No. I **don't **like her. Can't like her. _

_

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**Ginny's POV:**_

In another part of the castle, a fiery redheaded girl was agonizing over the exact same thing. _I just _can't _like him! He's HARRY BLOODY POTTER, for Merlin's sake, the SAVIOR of the wizarding-and muggle-world! He's my brother's best friend, and is practically my brother. Oh, _eeew! _So I don't consider him my brother, but that doesn't mean everyone else doesn't! Including, most likely, HIM! _She groaned loudly, making others in the common room give her a strange glance before turning back to their activities. This was, after all, Ginny Weasley, and they were used to her doing….odd things, truthfully. _Today is just _not_ my day, _she thought forlornly before stomping upstairs to her bedroom with a scowl, scaring away anyone who would have even thought to follow her.

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_Hey, everyone!  
Thanks for reading, we'll hopefully be updating soon...sooner if you review though, I'm sure. _Winks _Plot bunnies must befed and everything, you know! Anyway, that's about it, so we'll talk to you soon!  
The Dahlia Reynolds Duo, __AKA Magical Maniac Girl and dreamerdoll_

_Just so you know, all review replies are written currently by dreamerdoll. Also, we will continue to reply in our stories, unless we have a special reason to respond individually...just because, I'm sorry to say, it's much easier and takes much less time. Anyway, thanks!_

**Review Responses: **

**ZergMaster:** LOL. Thanks, I agree! I've gotta ask...you wouldn't happen to be on neopets, would you:D Sorry, just wondering!

**Smiles: **Lol. I agree...more chapters ALWAYS makes something better:D Or at least, I think so...unless its some pathetic excuse for writing, then it just needs to be terminated. (I love that word...hehehe) And I desperately hope that ours isn't like that! Anyway, thanks!

**shazia Born confused: **Thanks...I agree, it's horrible. And I, too, know exactly how that feels. Actually, I do it on a daily basis, unfortunately. _sighs_

**PlutoBum: **Thank you! I'm hoping it will get better! _Grins_

**The Female Nerd: **We will! Love the name, by the way!

**Me: **Thanks! And yeah, we were planning on writing from multiple POVs, that way you know what's going on in EVERYONE'S little minds...MWAHAHAHA! Lol. Sorry, I'm psycho!

**FanFictionFantom: **Lol. Thanks!

**The Weaving Wheel: **I'm glad someone else does that, and it's just not me!

**Ring-wraiths-and-Zeppelin: **Thanks, we plan on it! Yeah, Dumbledore's still alive...I know it's confusing (half the time, I can't remember what I read in fanfiction and what I read in the real books!), we just REFUSE to admit he's dead until the seventh book...HE JUST CAN'T BE DEAD! And he's such a great character!

**Books4Me: **Thanks!

**I Never Hated You After All: **Thanks. We'll try to separate it a bit better, but I don't think we'll be able to do it by chapter, because they're so short anyway. In the next ones, though, we'll attempt to write more and try to separate it then. Anyway, thanks!


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